Everything in my life seems like it’s going wrong. There isn’t one person out there that hasn’t lied to me..Even the person I’m madly in love with. Crazy about..lied to me..Am I not important enough to know the truth? It’s always the same thing. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” Excuse you. That isn’t a legitimate excuse. I’m still here after my best friend died in a fire five minutes away from me. I’m still here working hard knowing that my dad won’t be able to walk soon. I’m still making it knowing that someone who is probably my favorite person in the world might die before he sees me become successful. He’s been in and out of the hospital and I’ve still stayed strong. So many things happened and I’m still okay. Only because I know that there are others out there going through worse. I know that what I went through is nothing compared to others. What I also know is the saying ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’ Is a lie as well.
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Everything in my life seems like it’s going wrong. There isn’t one person out there that hasn’t lied to me..Even the person I’m madly in love with. Crazy about..lied to me..Am I not important enough to know the truth? It’s always the same thing. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” Excuse you. That isn’t a legitimate excuse. I’m still here after my best friend died in a fire five minutes away from me. I’m still here working hard knowing that my dad won’t be able to walk soon. I’m still making it knowing that someone who is probably my favorite person in the world might die before he sees me become successful. He’s been in and out of the hospital and I’ve still stayed strong. So many things happened and I’m still okay. Only because I know that there are others out there going through worse. I know that what I went through is nothing compared to others. What I also know is the saying ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’ Is a lie as well.

You promised. But then again. So did I. I broke my promises not to hurt you though. Usually most promises I made to you was to do with others. Usually I ran into them and I saw that those potential secret can ruin them. Or hurt them. So I tried to help them. That didn’t work? Fine. I told them. And then I ‘betrayed’ you? Fine. I get that. Totally understandable. But it was the right thing to do. The fact that bothers me the most is that you claim you never broke a promise..but you did..you did..and kept it a secret. That’s what’s eating me up inside. I admit, I have some wrong things that I did. I broke promises because even though it was not the right thing to do since it’s breaking a promise and all. It was the best thing to do..I had clear motives. I wanted the best..what was your motive jaan? Because out of all this all I got was hurt.
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You promised. But then again. So did I. I broke my promises not to hurt you though. Usually most promises I made to you was to do with others. Usually I ran into them and I saw that those potential secret can ruin them. Or hurt them. So I tried to help them. That didn’t work? Fine. I told them. And then I ‘betrayed’ you? Fine. I get that. Totally understandable. But it was the right thing to do. The fact that bothers me the most is that you claim you never broke a promise..but you did..you did..and kept it a secret. That’s what’s eating me up inside. I admit, I have some wrong things that I did. I broke promises because even though it was not the right thing to do since it’s breaking a promise and all. It was the best thing to do..I had clear motives. I wanted the best..what was your motive jaan? Because out of all this all I got was hurt.

Well, to be completely honest. Stuff happens. Everything sometimes goes wrong. People lie to you. People screw you over, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Trust me sometimes people lie and screw you over just because they’re trying not to hurt you. They’re blinded by how much they love you that they don’t realize by not telling the truth hurts them more. So, just be honest..
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Well, to be completely honest. Stuff happens. Everything sometimes goes wrong. People lie to you. People screw you over, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Trust me sometimes people lie and screw you over just because they’re trying not to hurt you. They’re blinded by how much they love you that they don’t realize by not telling the truth hurts them more. So, just be honest..

A Little Note To You

Here is something you will never ever get. You won’t be able to comprehend how I am with others. The way I look at others isn’t the way I look at you. The way I look into your eyes isn’t how I look into others. The way I laugh with others isn’t the same laugh I have with you. The way you make me giggle I swear there is no one else who can get to me do that. The softness of my voice only comes when I’m talking to you or about you. My anger fades easily with you. I smile often. I feel more. I love this and I love you.

In a way, we sort of kind of look like this. Just a bit. If you look hard enough. This is what I want. I want to curl up in bed with you every night. So you can hug me when I’m sad. Hold me when I’m excited with joy. Fill me with love at night. I want to be able to see you when I wake up. Look at those sleepy eyes. I would like to see that sleepy grin. I would love to hear that sleepy voice that you have when you wake up. I want to be able to look into your eyes at night. See you falling asleep. Hearing you breathe lightly. Be able to hear the rhythm to your heart. The last thing I want to see before I fall asleep is you. The first thing I would love to see is you. I really hope this comes soon. This will be my favorite part of the day.
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In a way, we sort of kind of look like this. Just a bit. If you look hard enough. This is what I want. I want to curl up in bed with you every night. So you can hug me when I’m sad. Hold me when I’m excited with joy. Fill me with love at night. I want to be able to see you when I wake up. Look at those sleepy eyes. I would like to see that sleepy grin. I would love to hear that sleepy voice that you have when you wake up. I want to be able to look into your eyes at night. See you falling asleep. Hearing you breathe lightly. Be able to hear the rhythm to your heart. The last thing I want to see before I fall asleep is you. The first thing I would love to see is you. I really hope this comes soon. This will be my favorite part of the day.

Hush. Do you hear that? Are you listening? That’s a cry of a baby being born. As people we all started out the same. Our parents get it on and the outcomes are us. You’re an original. You have your own DNA and your own fingerprints and even footprints. So, don’t try to be someone else. Yes, acknowledge the best qualities the people around you have, but do not become them. You’re amazing the way you are.
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Hush. Do you hear that? Are you listening? That’s a cry of a baby being born. As people we all started out the same. Our parents get it on and the outcomes are us. You’re an original. You have your own DNA and your own fingerprints and even footprints. So, don’t try to be someone else. Yes, acknowledge the best qualities the people around you have, but do not become them. You’re amazing the way you are.

I remember when we first met and it was full of silence. I usually find silences awkward. They make me squirm and really uncomfortable. But with you it was okay. I was okay. Then when became a thing I remember those long conversations we had, but all of a sudden we would be quiet. A long pause. Maybe we were deep in thought. Then you would let out a big sigh and say, ‘I love you.’ Or those time where we would have the phone close to our ear when we’re about to sleep. Slowly dosing off. Nothing but hearing each other breathing. I loved that. I love our silences
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I remember when we first met and it was full of silence. I usually find silences awkward. They make me squirm and really uncomfortable. But with you it was okay. I was okay. Then when became a thing I remember those long conversations we had, but all of a sudden we would be quiet. A long pause. Maybe we were deep in thought. Then you would let out a big sigh and say, ‘I love you.’ Or those time where we would have the phone close to our ear when we’re about to sleep. Slowly dosing off. Nothing but hearing each other breathing. I loved that. I love our silences

There’s more to love than the physical attraction and the sexual tension. Love is where you can handle each other mentally. You need mental stimulation and if you can stick through that congratulations. If you can’t then they’re simply just not the one.
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There’s more to love than the physical attraction and the sexual tension. Love is where you can handle each other mentally. You need mental stimulation and if you can stick through that congratulations. If you can’t then they’re simply just not the one.

All we do is meaningless arguing and it sucks.. What happened when we were happy and pulling jokes on each other? When we used to play fight? When everything just seemed so magical with you? Now all I seem to do is make you upset or mad. Where did I go wrong? Why do I feel like I’m a mistake in your life? I’m sorry though. It is my fault and I want to make an effort to go back to how we used to and if not then I’ll try for us to be better.
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All we do is meaningless arguing and it sucks.. What happened when we were happy and pulling jokes on each other? When we used to play fight? When everything just seemed so magical with you? Now all I seem to do is make you upset or mad. Where did I go wrong? Why do I feel like I’m a mistake in your life? I’m sorry though. It is my fault and I want to make an effort to go back to how we used to and if not then I’ll try for us to be better.

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